Hello, all. I am new here. Well, I'm kinda looking for advice or even an outsider's point of view. I married 'unequally yolked'. I was backslidden and knew he wasn't saved. Now it seems I'm reaping the chaos. There has been verbal/emotional abuse in the past.(I researched the signs to look for. They're there.) We don't have much in common. He tends to get angry and then blame it on me as if I started it or caused the "drama".(Normally if something happens that I disagree with or if I say something that he disagrees with)I question myself alot because of things he says. He says I'm selfish and controlling when he's the one trying to control. I had decided a couple of months ago that I wanted to divorce him. I moved out with our 21 month old son and everything. Then, he begged me to take him back and I did. Now, I'm right back where I started(divorce). I'm morally torn. I've been told by a couple of people that if there's been abuse in the marriage, that party has already broken the covenant, so I shouldn't feel wrong in divorcing him. Could someone tell me how u feel about that. Any scripture to back it would help also. Thanks alot.

--------------------------------------------------------------
The love of God for you and for me compelled Jesus Christ to exchange a throne for a manger, divinity for humanity and Heaven for Earth.

Iam so sorry for what you are going through, I will be praying for you. all I can say is don't give up have faith in God and don't stop praying listen for Gods voice and come to him with all that burdens you read the bible every chance you get. Maybe your husband will see how you've changed and became a child of God and he will follow. marriages are not perfect my marriage was not in the before we came to christ. we still have our problems but they are not as bad as before read 1corinthians7:3-17 I hope you feel better God Bless You

--------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you so much. God bless u:)

--------------------------------------------------------------
The love of God for you and for me compelled Jesus Christ to exchange a throne for a manger, divinity for humanity and Heaven for Earth.

I hope I made sense to you, I had some grammer wrong on what I wrote I didn't relize it at the time until I reread it over when it was already posted sorry:( But if you ever need someone to talk to Iam here for you. Grace be with you and your family

--------------------------------------------------------------

Hi, I read your story and I understand how you feel. I'm married and my husband is not YET saved and I must admit it’s hard. Sometimes it's has if we have nothing to talk about because our conversation is on different levels. I also feel in my spirit that you think this is happening because it is your fault and God is punishing you for backsliding. I want to tell you that if you “trust in the Lord with all your heart lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, He will direct your paths” (Prov. 3:5-6). He will turn your marriage situation into a blessing, as he did for Abraham, Sarah and the servant woman Hagar (read story in bible). If you feel that you are in danger then yes I recommend you leave your husband and allow God to work on him. If that is not the case then stay and work it out with strength from the Lord. The bible says to “cast all your cares upon the Lord” (1Peter 5:7). When you do this walk away believing that he will fix the problem no matter how it looks in the natural. The word says that he “is a rewarder to those who diligently seek him” (Heb. 11:6). “Seek first the kingdom of God… (Matt 6:33)” and believe that “He is able to do above and beyond all things” including your husband. I also recommend marriage counseling (Godly counseling preferably). Psalm 1:1 says blessed are those who walk NOT in the counsel of the ungodly. In my case, I thought of divorce several times but the only thing that is keeping this marriage together is the Lord. My husband and I have had plenty of problems; just recently the enemy tried attacking us in so many ways because he knows that a broken home cannot stand. Yet, the Lord is still telling me to show my husband love. Right now I'm reading this book called HOW TO BE THE HAPPY WIFE OF AN UNSAVED HUSBAND by Linda Davis. I'm up to chapter five but this book has blessed me. I'm also reading a book called "THE POWER OF A PRAYING WIFE" by Stormie Omatrian this is another impacting book that has taught me in order for my husband to change I must change myself first.

I know you must say "me change, I did nothing wrong" Work on yourself first sit back and watch the awesome and amazing power of God in your life. You will start to love yourself again. One thing you need to change is how angry and hard you’re being on yourself. I feel such a love in my spirit as I right this and the Lord is moving me to tell you that he loves you and he forgives you. For, your sins are covered under the blood of the lamb. He says baby girl come to Daddy and trust that I will change things in your life. Seek a closer relationship with Him. The Lord is longing to spend intimate time with you.

I love you in Christ Ilene.

--------------------------------------------------------------
Light

Hi. Of course no one knows exactly what you're going through except you and God, but I am in a similar situation. Me and my children got saved about 1-1/2 years ago. My husband actually got worse! He is such a control freak and he is my children's step dad. It has been utter chaos in our home for years. The kids rebelled, got into legal trouble....just a big mess. Then they got saved, but he says it's all fake. He can't stand them and only 1 still lives in the house. My daughter turned 18 in October and at exactly midnight when she turned 18, her boyfriend was waiting for her outside and she ran off. She called a couple of weeks ago to come home, I went and got her and my husband REFUSED to allow her back in the house. It made his day when they all turned of age. I have always been stuck in the middle. I've prayed and prayed for God to let me know what I should do. I try not to look to the world for the answers because what human would tell you to stay in a marriage like that? I mean the man truly has no love in his heart. This is what bothers me the most. I can handle faults in people, but a hardened heart is hard to bear. I have come to the conclusion through prayer that if I do decide to leave, I will be forgiven. God knows my heart. I asked him that if he'd just let me know if I need to stay I will because I want to do what Jesus would do. Well, the other day I heard a sermon on the radio about husbands and wives. I heard something I never heard before. In the bible it says that if you have an unbelieving spouse, that spouse is sanctified because of your belief. Well, I've asked my pastor, my church friends, everyone...what does that mean? No one has ever explained it clearly to me. I've been told it means that the unsaved spouse is set aside and made holy. I ask, does that mean he is saved? Reply....No. Only he can make that decision. Well, what does it mean and why was it important that it was mentioned in the bible? Well, on the radio, it was explained that it means he is holy because Jesus is around. Since I'm saved, Jesus is in the house! If I leave, that means Jesus leaves with me.... Wow! And also, if you leave your unsaved children with the unsaved spouse, then you leave them without Jesus! I finally get it. I know that I have to stay. I know that Jesus loves him just the same as he loves me. There has to be a reason I'm with him. I just know that I know that I know that if Jesus didn't want me here, he would make it clear. In my case there is not any physical abuse, but there is a tremendous amount of emotional abuse. Not constantly, but mostly his evil remarks and stabbings about the kids. I don't know your situation, but just pray about it. Jesus won't let you take more than you can stand. Don't let yourself be in danger because you're not sure what Jesus wants you to do. You can always leave. That doesn't mean you have to get a divorce. Maybe leaving is what it will take to wake your husband up. If not, then he'll get sick of the arrangement and sooner or later he'll leave you. If you stay right with God and he wants the divorce, then the covenant is broken and you're free. If you leave and he begs and promises to change, DON'T run back. Let things get better BEFORE you return home. If he means it, he will change, if he just wants his way, and you don't run right back home, then he'll give up eventually and want a divorce.

And remember, we are GOING TO MAKE MISTAKES. One thing we have to remember is that Jesus loves us NO MATTER WHAT! If you just can't take it and your life is so miserable that you do get a divorce and even if YOU initiate it, don't beat yourself up. No, it won't be what God wants, but guess what? He already knew what was going to happen! Your sins were forgiven over 2,000 years ago. Even the ones you haven't committed yet! Isn't that awesome? It makes me sick how some people commit "grace abuse" because of that, but then again, it's all about your heart and the relationship. If your relationship with Jesus is right, then there isn't grace abuse even when humans see it as that. It all comes down to you and Jesus. So, just stay close to Him and he WILL DIRECT YOUR PATH! You know, I feel so blessed right now! I keep wondering how I ever made it without Him! And right now I'm praying that your husband and my husband will both be wondering the same thing one day soon!

God bless you.

Pat
"Xstatic Mom"

--------------------------------------------------------------
~At all times be a witness, when necessary, use words~

hi all i too am in same position i got saved 3 years ago and since then my 18 year marriage has nothing really left but i am still here its hard to show them love when we dont get love but we need to focus on the love of god and be still and let god do the work for it is through him that our marriage can work and i am still praising him that i got saved so lets all pray for eachother and our husbands and beleive that the lord will do many things. i sometimes feel like i cant even cope anymore but isnt that if we are very honest the time when we go to god more when we are broken? i pray for all of you that our men will be saved through the love of christ and in his name amen. god bless you all. < >

--------------------------------------------------------------

Christian Glitter by www.christianglitter.com

It's been a while since I've been on here. Sorry this took me so long. You are right. It is extremely hard to show him love when he can be so mean and nasty. I always try to think of Jesus when He was being beaten and spit upon and even when He was hanging on the cross. His heart was for us. Even those of us who were so full of sin and hatred towards Him. He said, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." That is God's love. I will pray for you, your husband and your situation. Please pray for me and mine as well. We will intercede for each other..agreed? Thanks to everyone for your response and prayers.

--------------------------------------------------------------
The love of God for you and for me compelled Jesus Christ to exchange a throne for a manger, divinity for humanity and Heaven for Earth.

Hello. I am touched by reading your messages and want to add my own prayer request. I have been married to a nonbeliever for 14 years. We were both acting pretty worldly at the time we wed, but when the time came to come back to Christ, I did, and then realized being raised in church did not make him a Christian. I have two boys, ages 14 and 7. My husband isn't abusive or anything, he just acts like a typical non-Christian. He drinks in front of them, speaks of women in general as objects, curses in front of them, and brings around other non-Godly influences in his friends and acquaintances. Of course, I have always believed he can and will be saved and we have had a fairly successful marriage all of these years. However, we have recently started having problems with our teenager in lying, cursing, and at least talking about doing drugs. I have always taken my boys to church without my husband and I really believe I do everything I possibly can. I read the Bible with them, I talk to them, help with homework, cook and clean, invite their friends over, just everything I know to do as a mother to guide them in the right direction. Sadly, my actions and words aren't speaking near as loud as my husband's, who they naturally want to be like, since he's their Dad. I have waited, hoped, prayed, and believed all of these years that C would come to know Christ, but my kids are only getting older and already starting to model their Dad's behavior, no matter what I try to do. I am afraid to try to get them away from their Dad through divorce, because they would still see him, and without my influence, I feel C would only be worse and I could not control their enviornment. I watch him put beer, TV, his friends, and everything else before our marriage and our children and it breaks my heart. My pleading for him to change is seen as nagging and does no good. So, besides PRAY which I do CONSTANTLY, what else can I possibly do to save my children from following their Dad down the road to HELL?????