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It's the beginning of a new week and i am in a good mood this morning. I want ot thank God for bringing me through the night and treating me better than I deserve. Anyway in a little while I will be going to Curves and I have to run an errand. But I feel real well today and I am hoping that God lets this week be good to me.

I can't really explain why I feel this way but it's been along time in coming. For the first time in my life I am going to look through llife with the eyes of hope and believe that things will work out in the end.

Tonight I have been praying to God that I would make up my mind and decide whether I want to leave here early and get my own apartment in Portsmouth. If I get in I'm going to jump at the chance because I really want to get outof here the only thing. I won't have the money I was planning to save and I'll have to start all over again. But I am kind of looking for ward to beingon my own andI hope wverything works out the way it's supposed to.

I am still going to two different churches but I have come to a deicision. this is my last year at Asbury UntiedMethodist Chruch. I am moving on with the Nazarene church as much as I can.

I know I might be moving soon. I am going to try to get an apartment and get out of my sitaution early.

I feel a little guilty about laving the Methodist church but i feel it is th best decision for me.

I was busy yesterday but I enjoyed myeslf. I wentto Curves in the morning. then Sylvia and I went to visit Regina but she was sleeping so we took a ride to the Dollar tree and to the gorceries store and jsut went looking in sotres.
It was so good to get out of the house.

Then later on that night we had a get-together at church and we played Pictionary Guys vs. girls and our team won.

Im' tired but i am happy I hope I get to do more atuff like that becasie I eally need time to unwind from the weejk that ihad.

Tonight I have the blues. I feel like I am all alone in the world and that no one accepts me as I really am. I just want to cry it all outand make it go away.

I feel upset about the way my life is going. Somedays I think it is spinning out of control.

I don't understand what my life is for and I have been asking God a lot of questions. I believe in him but I don't understand why there is no equality among people. When the rich get richer and the poor get poor and When is it all going to stop so everyone will have enough and help each other.

I am disappointed that i didn't do well on a test Itook yesterday and i am a little bummed out by the whole experience. I knew I wasn't going to do well in Quickbooks. I hadn't kept up with it,but I expected to do better on the Excel 2003 and i know Ican do the work it takes to do the programs but for some reason I was having a mental block and the answers weren't coming to me like I thought they should. Thank God it's over. My eyes were going blurry and i counldn't see. I was tired from getting up at 5:30 am and i had two hours of testing and I made a real fool of myself and the sad part about it I am capable of doing the work.

Today I got a lot accomplished. I went for a walk and got called to a job interview. Then I came back practiced my typing and read the Bible.
Then I wrote some blogs and retyped my resume
I printed out my resume. Then I played checkers and lost. aftertht i read a book and took care ofmy dogs. And learned about OfficeXP2002. Then after that I played pinball and solitaire. I tried my hand at hearts but i'm not very good at it. Then I found my language CD'sand I practiced learning a new language.
So I had a busy day.

Today I am a little confused. I have been tryingto get a job for some time now,but I am in a training program now and I hope I make the final cut. But should I go on taking interviews or should I shoulf I find out if I got into the program or not before I look for other solutions to my financial needs. I know I have to pray about this and I know the wronganswercould set me up for disappointment and failure but I am willing to risk it because even if I don't do well at the interview at least I am making an attempt to find a job and improve my life.

Today I am thinking about Jesus and the sacrifice he made so I could be free. I read of his life and his service to others while he was here on the earth. I wish I could bee that dedicated to the needs of others but i have so much of my lfe that needs his touch I want to be like the master but ison't know if I ever will be. There is no way to measure all of the things he has done for us but all I can do is thank him for his love and his mercy and do the best I can to follow his example.