Ramble, grumble, fret, squirm...

Goodness, I was all excited about possibly moving to Arizona... now though, I start realizing I would be leaving Iowa to do so... seems a no brainer, huh?

I mean, I love, Love, LOVE my church. I have amazing friends here. My pastor is instrumental in our spiritual growth over the past 8 years.

At work, well... heck, I know my stuff. I know I can not say this without sounding extremely arrogant... but really, I know the computer charting very well. I know the physicians and their particular preferences... I know which docs let us think on our own and the ones that want to be called for every little thing... I seriously am on first name basis with most of them and know all the nurses...

I am well respected at work. Nurses and doctors alike will ask my opinion on things... They like me here. I am known for being careful in my nursing cares and easy to get along with...

In my neighborhood most folks know me or at least know OF me. I have a good reputation... our family is respected, even by those that are not in our "circles".

When the CASA lady was researching us she said that she could not find anyone willing to dish "dirt" on us... and usually she can... her job is to dig into our past and find out the down low on us.

I guess the thought of leaving the security of the KNOWN for the unknown is a bit daunting...

I have to start over as the one that does not know anything... heck, I know every unit phone number at the hospital... folks say Kimberley what is dietary's extention... I say 5852. I do not even have to think twice about it.

When I say something is not right with a patient, folks do not have to wonder if I actually know what I am assessing or if I am over reacting. When I say "I can not put my finger on it, but something is not right here." they listen.

This is most likely a pride issue. I like knowing that folks do not doubt my competency. I like not having to "prove myself" anymore. It is good to know that folks are not having to size up our family to see if we are good enough.

I know that when we are in a new church we will have to start all over... they will not know if we are leadership worthy or if we have a solid foundation in our marriage, or if our children are hellions... LOL.

at a new job I would have monumental things to relearn.

new parameters for labs, new phone numbers, new physicians, new nurses...

Am I too old for this?

... doubts...

I know that sometimes God has to take us out of our comfort zone to use us properly... I guess the big question is do I feel ready to let go and let God...

*sigh*...