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being given a second chance in life can be such a wondrous thing...
when Adam and Eve fell in the Garden, it could certainly have been the end for them. They broke God's sacred covenant with reckless abandon, and it was such a simple rule to follow...this tree? don't eat the fruit.
My first marriage was a covenant in very much the same manner, but it failed for many reasons. With Mandie, I feel that God has given me (yet another) second chance. She is (to me) the answer to my prayers, and the Gospel to the ex's Law.

My divorce is finally final, after nearly two years of legal wrangling. I feel like a burden has been lifted from my shoulders, and I can also finally officially ask my true love to be my wife. Odd how this whole thing transpired, because I was certainly not looking for true love to come my way, yet God sent her to me. The effects of being with someone who was abusive emotionally ans spiritually will be with me for a long time, this I know; but I am also just as certain that in time the memories will fade, replaced by new ones that are full of love and compassion.

the divorce. still, after more than a year and a half, it is still not final. the issues with the stbx are, sadly money. I left with not much more than the clothes on my back. I asked for joint custody, allowoing our kids to see each of us equal amounts of time. My seventeen year old moved out of her home because he could not stand living with her deceit (she has a boderline personality), but still I continued to pay her chiold support as if he lived there. in mediation, we agreed to a number of things early in June and I thought all had been resolved. she has changed things twice under the advice of her lawyer (the second round of changes have yet to meake it to my doorstep), but in an letter she told me that her expenses with the "kids" (including my 22 year old) are nearly 3,000 dollars a month, and the amount that the courts initially granted her fall too short of meeting those expenses. again, it is about money. my finances are not in the best condition, either; however, I thought the concern was to be the kids, not the cash. she makes me feel angry, and I do not like that feeling. she tells my daughters that I do not support them, and tells me that I have make their lives a living nightmare. she has said the most vile and loathsome things to me over the course of twenty five years, all because she "knew I could be better than I was". I am better not being in that relationship, and I know that the Lord was not in it. His plan for marriage does not entail emotional or physical abuse. I wish the end were in sight, but I am getting more and more discouraged.

Here in This Place
By: Roy A Hamrick

Here in this place a new hope is begun
We look to the face of His Beloved Son
and we come to see more plainly
how His Hand has led us on
in the face of a Living Mystery
we have come to where we belong

and the family of God
grows without a sound
through the water and the Word
this new life will abound

Easier said than done the race we're asked to run
we stumble and fall and tears then come
so we come to see more plainly
in our weakness He is strong
that we must fulfill our destiny
and His Hope carries us on

and the family of God
grows without a sound
through the water and the Word
a lost life has been found

no one likes to be confronted with their sins. not one of us enjoys admitting that we have fallen short. Peter had to admit his sin before Jesus himself.
under canvas
By: Roy A Hamrick

(for Peter)
Luke 22:54-61

I heard the echo of the lies
they beat upon the shoreline
the breaking waves of alibis
I carefully had wrought;
and now my mind drifts out to see
the shadows that were once mine
I pull my nets up on the shore
to see what I have caught.

the thunder crashes 'round my head
and warns of coming hours
of stormy thoughts and crashing hearts
upon the jagged shore;
the lightning cuts across the skyline
drizzles turn to showers
and then I hear the rustling sails
I'm close to heaven's door.

the anchors hoist my conscience in
the hold is overflowing
the nets are torn the tale is out
the storm is all around;
and looking to the raging sky
I see Your eyes of knowing
so with my boat and empty nets
I'm ready to go down...

On the subject of sin...

lots of people have differing views on the matter, it seems. Some say that if one revels (takes great pleasure or delight) in sin< somehow the consequences are worse in he eyes of God. This view might be popular among gnostics, but has no scriptural basis. On the surface, it seems to be attacking hedonism, but is in fact denying a human's basic nature. we like to feel, and gnostics would deny us that..

Another thought is that one sin is more sinful than another in the eyes of God. again, there is no scriptural evidence to support such a view. All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. In His eyes, a man who commits murder is just as sinful as a woman who calls her child a slut.. PUT simply, sin is sin.

Still others say that if one is truly sorry for one's sins, then that individual will never again commit that particular sin. In a perfect world, that view would be correct, but in this one it does not hold water. We are fragile human vessels, imperfect in many ways. If we were perfect, then there would have been no need of a Savior. God does not expect us to be perfect. His Son already has that one covered.

Sin is everywhere. It is inevitable and inescapable. The best we can do is the best we can do, and rely totally on the Grace of God. That's why it's there, after all.
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